I’m at a point in my life in which I’m determined to make some changes.  For myself.  That are about me.  Me, me, me.

“Wow, this woman is so selfish!”

Right?  I know this is what some people reading this are thinking.  I don’t blame you!  I feel the same way.  Which is why I know there’s a problem.  Here’s a few other ways I’ve realized something is not in balance here.

*I do a load of laundry.  The only clothes in the load are MINE.  Not my husbands, nothing that belongs to my 4 kids… just mine.  And I feel guilty about that.

*My kids go down for a nap, which means I can now eat lunch.  There’s a TV show that I missed being able to watch last week that I’d like to watch while I eat lunch.  But the voice in my head says I can’t JUST eat lunch & watch TV!  If I’m going to sit down long enough to eat, then I need to do something productive while I’m doing that like work at the computer.

Dear Self, it’s LAUNDRY.  It’s already a chore.  Why am I now giving myself guilt trips about doing chores!?  And people who work 9-5 at a “normal” job get a lunch break – so why again am I not allowing myself that?

Friends, this is when I decided I needed to make a change.  This is absolutely a change about myself – giving myself permission to relax, to take care of my own needs, and to not feel guilty about it.  However, I’m convinced that out of that change I will also see a change in the rest of the household.  A husband who comes home to a wife that isn’t grumpy & stressed out can’t be a bad thing.  Kids who have a mom that is taking time to connect with them more throughout the day rather than checking things off her to-do list will undoubtedly be more pleasant.  A family that sees a less stressed & more relaxed mom….  This isn’t a change just about “me, me, me” – it’s for the greater good.

Sometimes I make life far too complicated.  I weigh it down with things that don’t really matter.  Expectations, tasks, mindsets – that get me nowhere closer to feeling “whole”.  Time to strip life down & simplify.